How long does it take for the guilt to go away? Every night as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep I think about not going to the nursing home that Sunday. I thought about going 3 or 4 times through out the day but always talked myself out of it. The kids [...]
Archive for June, 2007
thoughts
Posted in death, grandmother on June 28, 2007 | 2 Comments »
Glad it’s over
Posted in birthdays, computers, friends, grandmother, humor, kids, music, parenting, pools, sleep on June 25, 2007 | 1 Comment »
Ds’s party was a hit. 14 kids ended up coming plus my 2. The party started at 12:30 and we finally left around 6:30. 3 boys stayed the night… that won’t happen again EVER!!! I finally threaten them and they went to sleep at 3 AM. I am so much more like my grandmother than [...]
Big day…
Posted in birthdays, grandmother, kids, parenting, pools, sleep on June 23, 2007 | 2 Comments »
and I can’t sleep. Not sure why that surprises me anymore.
Ds’s birthday party is at noon today at the pool we go to. If all show there will be 21 kids counting my 2. I am hoping for a good turn out. This is the first year I haven’t gone with a theme for [...]
11 years ago…
Posted in aging, birthdays, kids, parenting on June 20, 2007 | 1 Comment »
I was at Portsmouth Navel Hospital in labor with my first born. After more than 16 hours of back labor and 2 more hours of pushing, we became the parents of a healthy baby boy. He weighed 8 lbs. and 6.7 ozs and was 21 inches long. It was one of the best days of [...]
Lesson learned
Posted in death, family, grandmother on June 18, 2007 | 1 Comment »
It’s been one long week. Lots of things happened. Here are some things I learned.
My uncle and I got along great… I really thought he would push me away and “handle” everything himself.
My dad showed up at visitation drunk… some things will never change.
My best friend is a keeper… she really rocked this week.
My aunt [...]
can’t sleep
Posted in death, drama, family, grandmother, moms on June 11, 2007 | 5 Comments »
So I thought I would write. What would my life be like without drama? Hmm I don’t know b/c I have grown up with it, it all seems normal to me. Let me explain… I am sure you all know by now that my grandparents raised me. Well today when my uncle, aunt and I [...]
This was in the handbook from Hospice
Posted in death on June 11, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky [...]
She’s gone.
Posted in death, grandmother on June 11, 2007 | 5 Comments »
My Mamaw is gone. She died June 10th, 2007 at 9:30 PM. She was alone and that’s hurts like hell. I can’t stop thinking about her being all alone. I have told her she wouldn’t be alone when she was ready. I know we don’t know what time things happen. But while I was driving [...]
Old friends
Posted in friends, kids on June 9, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Today dd and I went to a birthday party. It was for a friend of dd’s, but also a friend of mine. See the friend’s mother is someone I have known for 15 years (I just thought more about that and that’s half my life… wow). The mother is 5 years younger than me but [...]
Why her?
Posted in grandmother on June 6, 2007 | 7 Comments »
I went to see my grandma today. She looks so helpless. I can only see her body now. It seems her mind is gone. She’s not eating much. She’s so skinny looking. She has a HUGE bruise on her left arm from her waist to her elbow and then another bruise right above her right [...]
