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Archive for September, 2012

11 years ago..

I had dropped my baby boy off at school, his first year! My baby girl was a day shy of being 6 months old. As always I came back home and turned on Good Morning America. I got comfortable and just stared at the TV… I remember Charlie Gibson’s voice and him talking about an accident. I called my neighbor and woke her up and we watched as that 2nd plane crash into the 2nd tower. I remember crying for the unknown. I can’t even begin to think how the people that were in the tower felt. It felt horrible being in a little town in Arkansas, like things would never be the same. My neighbor and I stayed on the phone a while that morning… we didn’t do a lot of talking, mostly just watching and crying. I’ve never been so glad to have my son home from school, my husband home from work and our little family all under one roof. In the days after 9/11 I have never been more proud to be an American.. God bless our Country!!!

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It’s been many many years since I have sat down and wrote a blog post.

Lots of things have changed. After losing my Grandmother in 2007 I was bad off. The more I thought I had control the less life seemed to go my way. 2010 seemed to be the worst. My migraine’s were out of control, my life was not peaceful and I wasn’t the mom or wife I needed to be. Everytime I turned around there was more drama coming my way.  Finally I talked to my headache dr. and she thought seeing a Psychologists could help work through some things I had going on with my life. So I started seeing a lady and I was starting to see somethings going on around me were so unhealthly for me but OMG my kids were seeing all of this crap too.

I finally had to make a choice of who and what I wanted in our lifes. The drama was the first to go… only problem here was that was my mother and my step dad. I had to decide how I would do this and when. I wrote a letter to them and left it on the counter after we did Christmas with them. The letter stated that I loved them but I could no longer enable them. By driving them places b/c they were drinking, getting calls in the middle of the night b/c one of them was drinking and driving and crashed into a tree, and so on. I was sick and tried of being their parent. I have 2 kids and they are who I need to worry about and do for.

So almost 2 years later I haven’t heard a word from my mother or step dad. They chose drinking! It broke my heart a little… being a child around them I knew I wasn’t high on the list of what’s important to them. It killed me to know not even my kids have a place higher than drinking. I’m not sure what would happen if they did decide to come back after 2 years.

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